frustrations. leave me alone.

         Everybody is happy except me. well that's what i feel. alone, devastated, frustrated, disappointed at everythings happening with my life.nothing good esp. with my career. i can't find a way to practice my profession and that really sucks! right now i feel so empty. nothing to be proud of. do you know how it feels, you finished your 4 year degree, reviewed and worked your ass for board exam, and finally passing that last exam to be tagged as a registered nurse and grabbing the hailed license yet after that nothing happens. im so frustrated and not even my favorite icecream would ease my frustration, unless i get really hired!

Other than that i feel like i'm losing my boyfriend/bestfriend or is it just me coz he's really busy right now. working like a pro. i can't blame him. he goes to school and support himself, he pay his bills , buy his projects etc, and that's one thing to be proud of. ikr. call me selfish but how about me? lately we've been fighting over and over and my issue is time. add up his mood. im missing a lot the old us wherein we would just argue of what food to order. now we can't even have time go on a date, eat together, make love, etc. . the best quality time he could give me is of any chance he's on break or before he goes home. that means an hour or 2-3 maybe. and with that little time he would be moody enough to piss me. he would make reklamo that he is tired already, that he needs to go home early, and more blah blahs .. i dunno sometimes i'm thinking if is it just me or the spark is gone. i love my boyfriend and that's a fact. but with these shiz thats going on with my life i dunno what could happen .

I'm running out of energy, i need money, i need work, i need love and attention, i need happiness .i need something that i could be proud of. those things if i can attain i'd be so happy. damn ecstatic. i wanna be on cloud nine naman. be happy. im still praying that opportunities will come my way. i know i should be  the one looking for it pero wala talaga. or i really need to exert more  effort and dedication. i need to grow up. i need to find my happiness and not just merely bum all day.

Thanks to this blog i was able to express how i feel right now. i know i have a lot of friends but they could just care less. they have their own issues. this is the only portal wherein i could express myself. not on twitter,not on facebook. so thank you blogspot :) you made me smile somehow.
i'm hoping everything will turn out fine, waaaaay better :) gameface on :')
                                                                                                                          xoxo